2017 is about to end. The year that she thought to be her lucky one. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the most hurtful year to her, for her family, future career plan & to some people dearest to her.
In her career, she has always been grateful of what she'd achieved. But like others, she also has a dream. She had waited for few years now only to find out that after some changes, she fell short. She tried to catch up & eventually do the plan B. She was excited then.
To a dearest friend, she knew she made mistake. But despite how sorry she was, even if it hurts her ego, it didn't work out.
Came the worst day she never prayed for. One of the most important persons in her life left her. In spite of being sick, she prayed that she could've live longer & gave her more time to take care of her.
But as she thought that it could be the worst thing to happen this year, just almost 2 months after, her most precious jewel was diagnosed to have a heart problem. It turned down her world. She begged for a miracle. It was like giving up everything in the name of life! Eventually, she gave up her plan B dream.
There were still glitches along the way. Someone who see her as selfish. Someone who considered her as emotionally insensitive to think she will be the most understanding person of all time. Sad thing is, she became the worst version of her self. She totally lost her self. She's mad. Very sensitive. Sets in insecurities. She's tired. And yet, there's no painful other than how she felt for her loved one. She prayed the hardest yet she's afraid. She bargained. She'd stop dreaming. She cried - every day,any time, & anywhere.
Sometimes, she wished she was not as emotional as this. She wished she lived a little rebel. She wished she was not as family oriented as this - 'cause this made it more painful and harder for her.
And this year has only few hours left to unfold. But it didn't change the fact how it brought her so much pain, fear, discouragements, frustrations & unsure future plan.
After all, there are still so much to thank for. So she hold on to those hopes and positivities that this life could still be a beautiful place to live on. But it's totally different now. She's afraid to laugh hard because she might ended crying. Yes, this year is truly a nightmare to her. No matter how she tried to appreciate all the goodness happened around, the painful experiences really prevailed.
She's scared for 2018 and the years to come. So for now, she will let the dreamer in her to rest. She wishes one day, she will regain the life she used to have. To dream again. To live life positively and lessen her fears. Wish her courage. She's far from perfect and never will be one. Hence, she's asking others' patience, love and understanding. Give her a little time. And most importantly, please, pray for her, too.
In her career, she has always been grateful of what she'd achieved. But like others, she also has a dream. She had waited for few years now only to find out that after some changes, she fell short. She tried to catch up & eventually do the plan B. She was excited then.
To a dearest friend, she knew she made mistake. But despite how sorry she was, even if it hurts her ego, it didn't work out.
Came the worst day she never prayed for. One of the most important persons in her life left her. In spite of being sick, she prayed that she could've live longer & gave her more time to take care of her.
But as she thought that it could be the worst thing to happen this year, just almost 2 months after, her most precious jewel was diagnosed to have a heart problem. It turned down her world. She begged for a miracle. It was like giving up everything in the name of life! Eventually, she gave up her plan B dream.
There were still glitches along the way. Someone who see her as selfish. Someone who considered her as emotionally insensitive to think she will be the most understanding person of all time. Sad thing is, she became the worst version of her self. She totally lost her self. She's mad. Very sensitive. Sets in insecurities. She's tired. And yet, there's no painful other than how she felt for her loved one. She prayed the hardest yet she's afraid. She bargained. She'd stop dreaming. She cried - every day,any time, & anywhere.
Sometimes, she wished she was not as emotional as this. She wished she lived a little rebel. She wished she was not as family oriented as this - 'cause this made it more painful and harder for her.
And this year has only few hours left to unfold. But it didn't change the fact how it brought her so much pain, fear, discouragements, frustrations & unsure future plan.
After all, there are still so much to thank for. So she hold on to those hopes and positivities that this life could still be a beautiful place to live on. But it's totally different now. She's afraid to laugh hard because she might ended crying. Yes, this year is truly a nightmare to her. No matter how she tried to appreciate all the goodness happened around, the painful experiences really prevailed.
She's scared for 2018 and the years to come. So for now, she will let the dreamer in her to rest. She wishes one day, she will regain the life she used to have. To dream again. To live life positively and lessen her fears. Wish her courage. She's far from perfect and never will be one. Hence, she's asking others' patience, love and understanding. Give her a little time. And most importantly, please, pray for her, too.
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